The two of us have not always seen eye to eye on things. I wanted you to be warm, inviting and safe but in reality you’ve struggled to deliver these things with any real consistency.
For my part, I reacted badly each time I felt let down by you. In fact, for a long while I gave up on you altogether.
I know your life is complicated but all the aggression, corruption, abuse and imposition just got all too much for me, so I walked away. It became easier to ignore what was going on for you and just get on with what I thought was important.
This approach worked to a degree, I got busy, I earnt money, got married, had a family, enjoyed my friends but in reality something was missing. I tried to convince myself for the longest time that it wasn’t you.
It’s taken lots of inner work but I’ve sorted through some of my own expectations and ideals about who I thought you were and who you had to be in order for you to be in my life again. I’ve realised how judgemental and conditional that was and how much it hurts us both.
Through the time I have taken to more deeply understand life, I see how you get pulled in a thousand different directions. So many people think they know what is best for you and so much of the time you end up more battered and bruised than before. I see people saying they have your best interest at heart but in reality they are only in it for themselves. I can see that you also want a life that is warm, inviting and safe but struggle to have this with any consistency. In essence, I see you carrying similar hurts (and expectations) to me.
Don’t get me wrong, there are things we both do that we absolutely need to talk about. But I am ready to have these conversations without the usual finger pointing, defensiveness and reactions.
I can see that we have lots to learn from each other and I am absolutely up for a deeper relationship.
Yet to go deeper, we have some tricky conversations ahead of us, so I wanted to set some ground rules so we both come out of this richer for the experience -
You get my commitment to the relationship, my honesty, creativity and hopefully a splash of humour
You get my understanding of the complexity of your experience and the daily choices you are asked to make
You get my commitment to staying out of reaction when we disagree
You get my humility in knowing we have lots to learn from each other.
Arrogance, bullying, vilification or abuse is a game I won’t play but your considered feedback and insight are welcome any day.
So stay tuned humanity, because if you’re open to what I am going to share it will rock your world (in a good way).